Tuesday, November 24, 2009

If he finds out you wear high-cut underwears and you have a kid, you are no longer a MILF. Take note
I dont know whats more embrassing..... being a hooker or being robbed by a hooker?! Take note.
Don't hold your man with two fingers. Take note.
Nothing is really worth anything if you have no one to share it with. Take note.
If she says she cares, quit questioning it repeatedly. She's 10 questions & 10 seconds from flipping her shit on you. Take note.
If you get rejected on a friend request on facebook, it's not I don't wanna be your friend it's just that i don't know you. Take note.
Trust me what he doesn't know might not hurt him NOW--but if he feels the burn later, he'll come back to hurt YOU. Take note.
Make sure you locate the trash can when you enter just in case you have to throw something away. Take note
She has that dress on today only cause she saw me with it on last night. Take note.
If you are too lazy to walk in the store for ice cream then you don't need those legs of yours. Take note
Why don't you step your fashion game up and shop @thenichemarket. Take note
If you insult my friends, or people I know are good people, ON Twitter, it's very likely I will embarrass you back. Take note.
Do not take advice from the woman on the food network who eats what accidentally fell in her hair. She didn't wash her hair. Take note.
Don't say "hitting the club". I'm gonna assume you mean baseball and not AlleyCat. Take note.
I know too much because Twitter is the new text messaging system. So don't say we are nosy when I can print out the convo. Take note.
You'll always have a soft spot for the one you can't have. I don't like soft spots on my fruit. Throw it out. Take note.
If you do something embarrassing, I will back away slowly & look the other way. Take note.
If your man is rubbing the Thanksgiving turkey too long during preparation, YOU are doing something wrong. Hell & so is he. Take note.
No I don't think the Romeo & Juliet song to me is cute. Why? Cause we're both gonna die, and you should rethink the HOW part. Take note.
If your excuses include "uh" "so" "see, what had happened wuz", chances are your excuse sucks & won't be believable. Take note.
If you say you were doing it discreetly when you're making all that noise then you're not doing it discreetly. Take note
If you're asking me out on a 1st date, telling me to choose a cheap place cause you are broke is grounds for dismissal. Take note.